Ugh.

[fenella]

+ I really need to work on my self-censoring. WHY do I think it would be a good idea to talk to certain people when it is CLEARLY A BAD IDEA, and then I go on to say things that I will certain come to regret?? I was pretty good there, for a while, at not regretting things I do, but ugh, filter, Fenella, filter!!! Impulses + technology = BAD. This is why I need to get rid of Facebook. Or I could just learn social skills (new trick? old dog?).

+ Other than that, orchestra is in full-on pre-Christmas mode. It's kind of exciting, and as my oldest sister tells me, I have to learn not to stress about not having enough stress in my life.

+ Tomorrow is pay day, which I am excited for on several levels. The most thrilling of which is that I will be able to eat again. I am totally taking myself out for a bacon and eggs breakfast before work.

+ I want to write things. I want to write all the things. FILTER, FENELLA, FILTER.

+ I will be okay. I'm getting there.

+ I had a date with a boy I met online. He is incredibly charming and funny and smart and I liked him very much. I'm still in this place where I am pretty certain that I do not at all want to be in a relationship. Which is premature to be thinking about, I think. But then, not at all.

+ I miss my friends. I miss being so comfortable with people. This is the down-side of having wanderlust the size of your country, when your country is the second largest in the world. I miss my family. I miss parts of Canada that are seeping into my dreams and thoughts in a most unbecoming way.

+ Clearly I need therapy.

Tell me things that are not about me, please.

Comments

[wottie.livejournal.com]

I think it's cool to date someone even if you don't want a relationship. Dating goes all sorts of places and could change how you're feeling - you never know. And if you're having fun it doesn't have to be about commitment, y'know? Just have fun.

[lyredenfers.livejournal.com]

You give good advice. Thank you!!

[themis.livejournal.com]

I second the idea that dating ≠ relationship, and especially doesn't equal a serious relationship. Good luck either way! And do what makes you happy. :)

I recently finished The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, which is a book with very strong convictions. It's weird reading books like that, sometimes.

[lyredenfers.livejournal.com]

See, I know that it doesn't need to be a serious relationship. But, like, when you know someone for the course of more than one meeting, you're automatically building something - whatever form of casual/non-comittment that may take - it makes me anxious because I am the queen of misinterpreting other people's intentions, and I am a compulsive obsessive people pleaser. I suck.